I've been married almost eleven years. Together five before that. What's the secret? Hmmm, I don't know. Maybe we don't get bored easily. Maybe it's just that neither of us like drama. I could say love, but love is no secret- all marriages start out with that. There has to be an underlying thing, something that stays long after all the chemical newness has settled. Maybe I just married the best guy around- who knows? My husband says he's learned a cure all phrase..."If she's happy, I'm happy."
(Notice the phrase isn't "She makes me happy." If you're relying on someone outside of You to make you happy, you may never 'get' to happy. But if you tend to be happy, that makes life a little easier for the person you've chosen to spend your life with.)
This also means no senseless complaining.
When we first moved in together, Steven would leave the toilet seat up. I bought an annoying little alarm, light sensitive, that stuck to the seat. After they stay up for too long an amount of time, it starts chirping. He hated it. He hated it, and the toilet seat, I discovered, was not really that big of a deal to me either, so it came off. I know how to put the seat down.
Over a dozen years later, my husband religiously checks the seat before bed. I walked past the john tonite, and closed the lid myself. Was the cure to the toilet seat my complaining about it? Nope. My getting over it and him wanting to make me happy? Nope, not that either.
The cure to getting that seat down, ladies, came along with our dog, a 100 pound german shepherd, who, for some reason, prefers the water in the toilet to the stuff in his bowl. Seems as soon as he's lapped up a tank full off water, he whines by my sweeties bedside to go out.
(Complaining from the dog sounds entirely different from wife complaining.)
Forget about the toilet seat. It's really no big deal. Someone somewhere has to use a lard bucket. If you're reading this blog, it probably ain't you!
wishing you every happiness- yours truly