Wednesday, June 9, 2010
"They didn't say anything about beef jerky," he tells me. Here we are, mid-air on the way home, and I'm staring at Sky Magazine, pg. 154. "It shows a picture here..."
Reading Louise Hay's new book, Experience Your Good Now, Learning to Use Affirmations,
has probably been the hardest to read yet. I'd been ill- physically ill. How I felt was not in line with uttering things like, "I am grateful for my perfect health. " Nor could I imagine feeling any other way, or being any other way. My recent mantra's ran more along the lines of, "Well, Hey, at least I'm alive!"
And it's not that I don't understand the concept of affirmations, or even that I doubt their effectiveness. It's that without the Belief to back them up, I could only cynically utter one. My mentality was one of deprivation disguised as practicality. 'I couldn't do this because I couldn't afford it.' or 'There are too many more qualified writers with actual educations.' I'd allowed not going to college to become my fall-back excuse for anything that I wanted to do but didn't. That excuse turned easily in my mind to 'I'm not smart enough.' Like Anthony Bourdain taking his maiden trip to the Greek Isles, I held the small shiny book in my hands with one thought- I'll try.
Louise's book also coincided with something odd that happened.
I got an email that quoted an outrageous price on Roundtrip airfare to Puerto Rico ($191!). I joked to Steven, and he quipped back, "Book it!" Ha ha, very funny. We had just gone to Barbados four months prior, our first vacation in 14 years. Though we'd always talked about seeing the world, it was always tacked on before or after 'One Day.' I'd been maids at hotels, and comfortable with that.
I was the one that cleaned to rooms, never the one who stayed in them.
What made me think any differently?
In our little three day trip, kids in tow, We found that wherever you go, you can find a little piece of brilliance. We slept at The Gallery Inn, surrounded by Vintage charm, and heads...Concrete heads. Lots of them. We hiked a rainforest, got plopped down into a Bioluminescent Bay, Flew kites in front of El Morro, got stuck in an out of gas bus on a San Juan highway. We drank cold coconut water out of beheaded green nuts, and we filled our happy bladders full. Pigeons alit on our shoulders gracing us with their happy birdie vibrations- (birdie everything- as well as a need to shower).
You can believe what you like & the world will morph around you accordingly.
Louise Hay- pg 103- Cursing is an affirmation, worrying is an affirmation, and hatred is an affirmation. All of these are attracting to you that which you're affirming. Love, appreciation, gratitude, and compliments are also affirmations and will similarly attract that which you are affirming.
Nelson Mandela said, "In order to build our Nation, we must first exceed our own expectations." (This one popped in front of my eyes during the in flight movie, Invictus. Oddly appropriate).
Not allowing yourself to be good enough is an affirmation.
Not getting your hopes up is an affirmation.
I unknowingly had already been using affirmations, but because I wasn't saying aloud something that was in a written statement form, I just wasn't aware. And I can see that repeating a positive statement could affect your energy and alter your belief in time. Am I ready for that? I don't know. At this time, let me just use this one .. "Why Not?"
I laughed with my oldest daughter, seated by the window.
"We need to make this a group effort," I tell her. "We need to collectively see the jerky." "Yes, I see it." We sat laughing at the idea of manifesting elusive jerky on a plane, let alone being on the plane.
I can tell you that we did indeed have jerky. & We will always have Puerto Rico.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
and crammed into a tiny fitting room with two kids but only one chair.
Talk about chaos.
& Crying (Not me, but surely, it could've been).
Eight swimsuits, white 'Go to the Light' bright lighting, and me,
Squeezing into random swimsuits
Which is pretty dreadful.
I mean, well, first of all
I can't even try on a swimsuit without thinking
that someone at sometime
probably farted in it.
They were trying it on as well, squeezing their fleshy parts in
& it was probably not a loud one but one of those
Airy ones that only the ears of the blower can hear.
Which may make it worse.
Though now, reading this back,
it makes it sound as though I myself
farted in a swimsuit that I did not buy.
I did not. (Really!)
Ah, but someone probably did.
I have my book review coming up & some other exciting happenings.
Today I wonder why people didn't evolve with insect eyes
where there are many eyes all over the place.
Deep intriguing abalone disco ball eyes
laden with shifting prisms,
None of which any one person would know which to look into
Unless you told em.
Even just an extra one behind each ear.
It would definitely help with changing lanes while driving.
Also, today I'm thankful for celery with peanut butter
& sometimes with cream cheese,
but not real cream cheese- that lesser fat stuff- Neufchatel?