Friday, March 27, 2009

Scientology on a Bike

I just took the Belief-O-Matic quiz! Here's my results :P

How did the Belief-O-Matic do? Discuss your results on our message boards.
1. Neo-Pagan (100%)
2. New Age (96%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (91%)
4.Liberal Quakers (78%)
5. Mahayana Buddhism (75%)
6. New Thought (70%)
7. Secular Humanism (68%)
8. Scientology (67%)
9. Hinduism (65%)
10. Theravada Buddhism (63%)
11. Jainism (63%)
12. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (61%)
13. Reform Judaism (59%)
14. Taoism (52%)
15. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (50%)
16. Sikhism (50%)
17. Baha'i Faith (44%)
18. Nontheist (40%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (39%)
20. Orthodox Quaker (38%)
21. Islam (28%)
22. Seventh Day Adventist (18%)
23. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (17%)
24. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (14%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (13%)
26. Roman Catholic (13%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (12%)

Okay, so I'm UU, and third from the top ain't bad. Although I should really look into this Neo-Pagan thing. Also, I am considering printing this out and hanging it by the door for when the Jehovah's Witnesses come calling.
"We're here to tell you about our Church."
"Oh! Of course. Let me show you this paper I have." They look, "You see, this says that I'm eleven times more likely to agree to being a Hindu than your religion. Is it really worth it to keep knocking?"
And then you have the Mormons. I can't get enough of the Mormons on Big Love- love it.
And the boys on bicycles in those suits? I give them bottled water when the come by cause its always summer and their always sweating. Mormons are seriously nice. They are. And you can call that number and get the free Book of Mormon along with some nice bike riding boys to explain it to you. When I was in high school, my cousin would call for the books and try to be the downfall of cute morman missionaries.
"What were they doing at your house again?"
"I was showing them my weed." OMG. I don't think that's all she showed them. but let's move on!
You know, the religions I find myself most curious about don't self promote enough. It's not right that you can be sent a free Book of Mormon and a teacher, but really, if I call 1-800-Scientology, why can't they send me a free copy of L. Ron Hubbard's Power of Thought and John Travolta? Giovanni Ribisi? I actually want to read that book. And who can blame someone for being part of a religion thats mainly based on positive thoughts? Please Scientologists, get on the ball. Surely some of your wealthy members can pitch in for some Schwinns and some used paperbacks. Geez!
And what about the Jews? (Yep, I'm going there...) I love Jews. Love em. One of my best friends is Jewish. But they don't have any sort of open arm policy regarding new non jewish folk. Where's the "Come on by a few times, see if you like it" factor? I'll tell you. It's like a secret society because the fact is, they are afraid that if they do that, everyone will like it. Then you're gonna have people frying okra in the latke grease and what not.
I think it's one of those religions that goes hand in hand with an ethnicity. A heritage, if you will. A thing you have or haven't with no in between, like curls on a biracial child. You can admired the beauty of it but you cannot become it.
Incidentally, my great-grandmother's second husband was Jewish, and killed in Dachau. She was left with several small children. Very sad.
Shouldn't that get me in for the Apple dipping parties?

I'm terrible! Yikes.
I'd better get my ass on the treadmill. Something. Thanks so much for stopping in!
~ Much love, yours truly ~


  1. Interesting read!! Thanks for stopping by at my blog - Tandoori Lounge.
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  2. Funny! Thanks for joining my madness. And, for the record if crazy ass Tom Cruise came by my place on a bike touting some nutty Scientology mumbo jumbo, I'd certainly consider giving birth in silence, I really would. You're right, they'd do a lot better with their cause if they pimped out some of their hottie followers just a little bit:)