Friday, November 12, 2010

I was driving this morning & I saw a big black goat trying to squeeze his head through a fence, surrounded by various white goats. It reminded me of the devil.
This is especially funny since I don't believe in a devil. Goats must have a pretty good sense of humour to put up with such an eschewed reputation. Maybe they reincarnate as dolphins. I ate goat ribs once at a block party, but they were tough. It was a very old goat.
I am sorry that I've not been 'round; I still think of random dorky things, I just fail to remember to stop in & mention them.
My Steven & I were having a conversation about my driving and stop signs. He doesn't seem to think my 'stops' are good enough. My take on it was, if it is a four way Stop in a rural straight way area, and there's no one at the other three stop signs, that stop is more so a Yield.
Then yesterday, going through the Stop in the dark, I imagined how funny it would be if there was a cop standing in the darkness watching the Stop, and if you treated it as the Yield, they would turn a specially made helmet they wore into a flashing blue light helmet, and then I suppose chase you on foot. Maybe radio it in, I don't know. It really didn't get much further than the blue light helmet. Ha.
Now that I look at it, it's strange how aestetically pleasing the word Stop looks in this font.
But I'm going through that stop sign in the daylight now that we have Daylight Savings. Blinding Daylight, just enough to be too far down for my visor while I'm driving. Sucks. I would prefer to drive in the dark in the mornings & let my kids & husband have the extra hour of light to play in the evenings. To make myself feel less ungrateful I imagine places that are dark but happy yet, like Sweden. I imagine Bjorn Wiinblad faces & Moomins & it makes the dark seem like a perfect place to inspire the opposite- color & whimsy. Then I go to Gap to find some sweaters and everything is brown and navy. Blah. I don't know who determines the new fall colors.
I'm suggesting Yellow.
I love Yellow in the winter. There should be some nice Yellow winter boots out there somewhere. A yellow sweater dress with a capped sleeve to go. Then this just reminds me that I should've done something grand with my life, like being the one to put out the yellow boots and sweater dresses, so I get it out my mind.
I don't like the idea of beatings oneself up over unimportant things. Not that I don't do it; I do it on a regular basis, but then you gotta just jump up and shake it off, which I'm also okay at.
A couple months ago, I was talking to one of my daughters on a Sunday afternoon, and I noticed her teeth. They were stuffed white in between like little cannelloni. When was the last time you brushed? I asked her. I don't know, she said. Was it Friday? It was.
I discovered that while I enforced teeth brushing on school mornings, I wasn't reminding the girls to brush on the weekends, and this entire time they were taking full advantage of the fact. I felt horrible for not remembering to remind them. & It's okay & unimportant now, but then I felt insecure.
I had a doctor appointment with a specialist that I'd been waiting awhile to see. I was nervous & frazzled and didn't really expect much more than a quick consult. I've seen a few doctors here and there (understatement), and was just not to aware of the details of my appointment, I guess. I got in the room, and the nurse brings a gown in.
What's this for? I ask her. Change into the gown & the doctor will be right in.
I started sweating. I hadn't had to change into a gown in I don't know how long. & I hadn't shaved my legs. Do I have to, I asked. Yes. My legs were stubbly and I had to put the gown on. Shit. So I'm nervous and the doctor is holding my legs up bending my embarrassed ankles. My phone goes off with the most annoying ringtone ever. I apologized for not turning it off. He laughed.
So then he moved in close with the light thingy and tells me to open my mouth. I'm sitting on the chair-table in my gown, and realize I have gum in my mouth. The trashcan is across the room. I confess my Gum-Sin. It's okay, he tells me. Just push it back in your cheek & raise your tongue.
I'm the worst patient ever, I tell him. He smiles and says, "Believe me, your not."
But I don't believe, and was convinced that I should've know better & I was for sure, the very worst patient.
See how easy it is to beat yourself up over nothing?
We do it all the time. The trick is to remember that the next day is a new one, I guess.
I'm glad we had this chance to chat. Have a great day :)

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